The Measurement Standard: Blog Edition

Life After Death By PowerPoint 2010

Expanded version of Don McMillan's 2008 YouTube hit "Life After Death by PowerPoint":

Bad Science Jokes: Beautiful Dance Moves

Thanks to Bad Science Jokes for a little scientific humor, and maybe a flashback to your trig class.

The Onion's TED-ish Talk on How to Do and Measure Social Media

The Onion's TED-ish talk on how to do and measure social media. Very humorous. (Thanks to Measurement Matters for this.):

Buzzwords Are Painful

The BS Detector ad from Adobe: "How does your company currently measure results in digital marketing?"

CoolnessGraphed

Here's a little measurement bon-bon for your Wednesday morning. You'll find many of these chart adventures in expression on CoolnessGraphed on Tumblr. OK, somewhat challenged in the charting-of-the-y-axis area, but still irresistible for their genuine enthusiasm.

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A PR Pro Walks Into a Bar...

Here's a great way to start off the week from Ragan's PR Daily: "A PR pro walks into a bar..." where you'll find several humorous PR-related jokes.

And, since I am just now finishing editing Beth Kanter and Katie Paine's upcoming book Measuring the Networked Nonprofit, I found this one about writers and editors especially appealing/appalling:

On writing and editing

A writer and an editor are making their way through the desert. The sun is beating down, and they're parched beyond belief. Up one dune and down the next they go—walking, stumbling, crawling. Just when they're about to give up, they look over a sandy crest and see an oasis.

Revitalized, they stagger toward it, with the writer leading the way. He lands face first at the edge of the cool water, cups his hands, and drinks.

Suddenly, a few feet to his left he hears a soft splashing sound. He looks over and sees that the editor is peeing into the water.

In stunned disbelief, the writer yells, “What the hell are you doing?”

The editor, without even looking up, says calmly, “I'm making it better.”

Go read them all. -- Bill Paarlberg, editor

(thanks to dispair.com for the illustration)

The Top 10 Most Popular Articles from The Measurement Standard in 2011

 

Every January we present our readers with the opportunity to experience the best of a year’s worth of The Measurement Standard's excellent and eclectic coverage of public relations measurement and social media measurement -- without having to wade through all those emails and blog posts. Based on the highly dubious concept that if everybody else liked them, then you might too, we present these most popular articles for your reading pleasure. Or maybe just because you'd like to know what other people are reading.

So, here is our annual roundup of the top 10 most popular articles from The Measurement Standard. Don't miss the three bonus lists down at the bottom: Longest-Time-on-Page Articles, Humor Articles, and Top Five Mobile Devices. 

Top 10 Most Read Articles:

1. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Writers 
   Thanks to being picked up by Stumbleupon -- and author Daphne Gray-Grant's catchy title -- this piece on writing better got huge -- and we mean huge -- pageviews. Too bad most of those readers didn't stick around the site to read the other articles, probably not our target audience. But, hey, some of them did, so we got some new readers out of it.
2. Katie Delahaye Paine's New Social Media Measurement Checklist
   Your step-by-step guide to demonstrating solid results from social media.
3. The Grunig Two-Way Symmetrical Model of Public Relations: A Bibliography
   The two-way symmetrical model is part of the Grunig four-model theory of public relations practice.
4. The Public Relations Excellence Theory of Grunig, Grunig, and Dozier: A bibliography.
   The Excellence Theory is the result of a 15-year comprehensive study to determine the characteristics of excellent communications and of the companies that do excellent public relations.
5. How To Evaluate Events and Sponsorships
   Six basic steps, five final lessons, and four additional resources. This is now almost five years old and people still love it.
6. 10 Questions Every Communications Professional Must Be Able to Answer Before Beginning a Measurement Program
   This is an excerpt from Chapter 2 of “Measure What Matters,” the book by Katie Delahaye Paine from Wiley Publishers.
7. The Barcelona Principles Checklist
   A practical program-improvement checklist based on the Barcelona principles.
8. Six Defining Characteristics of the Successful Public Relations Professional of the Next Decade
   The public relations environment of a decade from now will require talents and personality traits somewhat different from today.
9. Fascinating Correlation Research on SAT Scores vs. GPA in Predicting College Performance
   About a NYTimes article on how the impacts of SAT scores and high school GPAs were separated to determine their ability to predict college success at SUNY.
10. 2011 Facebook Statistics
    Everybody likes Facebook stats.

Bonus List! Top 5 Longest-Average-Time-on-Page Articles:
(And what does longest average time on page mean? Maybe these articles were really, really interesting. Maybe they caused the reader to click on a link to other really interesting articles, leaving these article pages still open but ignored. Maybe these are the articles most likely to cause the reader to fall asleep.) 

1. Barbie vs. Hello Kitty Social Media Showdown!
2. Guy Kawasaki’s New Book Will Enchant You
3. How Can We Take Office Politics Into Account When Doing Public Relations Measurement?
4. 3 Reasons Why VMS Failed, and 3 Lessons for Survival
5. Measurement During Tough Economic Times

Another Bonus List! Measurement Humor:

1. Social Media (Humorously) Explained
2. Research Presentation Chart of the Day: Popular Colors of Residential Submarines
3. Humorous Measurement: Top-12 Declining Actors of 2011 
4. Notecard Sentiments in Humorous Chart Form from Quiplip
5. 5 Questions to Ask a Measurement Vendor (Humor)

Yet Another Bonus List! The Top 5 Mobile Devices Used to Read The Measurement Standard: 

1. Apple iPhone
2. Apple iPad
3. (not set)
4. Apple iPod Touch
5. HTC EVO 4G

--WTP

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 --Bill Paarlberg is editor of  The Measurement Standard blog and newsletter, and of Katie Paine's book “Measure What Matters.” He is also editor of the book “Measuring the Networked Nonprofit,” by Beth Kanter and Katie Paine, which will be published this year by Wiley. The Measurement Standard is a publication of KDPaine & Partners, a company that delivers custom research to measure brand image, public relationships, and engagement.
 Follow Bill Paarlberg on Twitter.

KDPaine & Partners' Facebook Page.

 

HubSpot: What if You Could A/B Test EVERYTHING? [Cartoon]

This totally excellent cartoon, “What if You Could A/B Test EVERYTHING?”, is from HubSpot:

5 Questions to Ask a Measurement Vendor (Humor)

Choosing the best public relations measurement or social media measurement vendor from the many available can be difficult. According to a recent poll, there are over 3 billion social media consultants who would like you to hire them.

To help you interview your next measurement vendor, we’ve put together several question-and-answer scenarios so you can evaluate their expertise. Included are some helpful tips on how to respond.

Question #1: Why would I want to measure my public relations or social media programs?

-- Possible Answer A: [Vendor adjusts bulging Sansabelt waistline.]
“Our vast number-crunching expertise and seven-color statistical graph charts will prove you do your job better than anyone else!”

What you do: Smile politely. Pull secret lever to drop vendor through trap door into crocodile pit.

--Possible Answer B: [Vendor removes massive horn-rimmed glasses and stares intently into your eyes.] 
“It's all about the conversation! We use our proprietary Influensationess^® and Buzzifaction^® Indexes to track your influence in the social space and leverage the engagement of your social media presence.”

What you do: Maintain smile while showing vendor out door. Lock door. Release the hounds.

--Possible Answer C: [Sun breaks out from behind clouds, casts divine light.]
“Measurement will provide you with the data you need to make more efficient and effective decisions.”

What you do: Quietly rejoice. Let your spirit be refreshed. Proceed to next question....

Question #2: What’s the best way to measure my program?

-- Possible Answer A: [Vendor twirls curly mustaches while waggling eyebrows.] 
“Our special AVE technology will conclusively prove the dollar value of your coverage. How does a multiplier of, oh, say, 5, sound to you?” 

What you do: Restrain vendor. Put tar on to boil, gather chicken feathers.

--Possible Answer B: [Vendor strokes goatee and speaks while simultaneously checking Blackberry.]
“Hits to your website show eyeballs in action. Our secret Advanced Site Sensing® technology will actually reveal how many people visit your website every day!” 

What you do: Maintain smile while dismembering vendor with your laser eye beams. Or, if office is above 5th floor, use repulsor rays to defenestrate.

--Possible Answer C: [Slight radiance visible around vendor’s head.] 
“I don’t know yet, I have to get to know your program, audience, and business objectives first.” 

What you do: Raise eyes to heavens. Sing brief hymn of praise and adoration. Blot tears of happiness and proceed to next question...

Question #3: How would I measure my relationships with my audiences?

-- Possible Answer A: [Vendor scratches back of mullet.]
“Relationships mean nothing. It’s all about getting the coverage, reaching beaucoup eyeballs, and getting your message out in front of your main target stakeholder audience groups.”

What you do: Use desk button to activate the faulty x-ray machine hidden beneath vendor’s chair. Carefully maintain smile and eye contact while lethal dose is administered. Graciously dismiss vendor.

-- Possible Answer B: [Slight tilt to the head.]
“Why would you want to measure relationships?”

What you do: Being careful not to get your hopes up, respond: “Because I want to learn the nature of what motivates my audiences.”

-- Possible Answer C: [Faint sounds of harp music.] 
“Depends on your situation, but looking at engagement could be a good start, then maybe a Grunig-based survey.”

What you do: Prepare a burnt offering. Inquire if vendor is looking for venture capital. Proceed to next question...

Question 4: How would you measure my ROI?

-- Possible Answer A: [Vendor flashes big smile while crossing her legs and adjusting very short skirt, waggles foot with red stiletto pump.]
“You are talking my language. I’m sure your ROI is just huge! We can track it with hits, impressions, likes, or any other measure that works for you!”

What you do: Carefully maintain eye contact. Use button under desk to activate rocket-assisted ejector seat, launching vendor into stratosphere.

--Possible Answer B:
“Your best ROI is impressions, because PR is all about getting your key messages out to as many people as possible.”

What you do: Maintain smile while approaching vendor to within arm’s length. Use snake-head-fist to strike softly with forbidden dim mak death touch to liver or kidneys. Continue to smile. Show to door.

--Possible Answer C: [A hush falls, time seems to stand still.]
“Your ROI is the percentage difference between what you invest and the revenue it generates. If you don't have the dollar data to make those calculations, we might do better to express its value in terms of other business goals.”

What you do: Ask if vendor is single. If yes, get your eligible son/daughter into the room immediately. Proceed to next question...

Question #5: In your view, what’s the point or purpose of social media?

-- Possible Answer A:
“To get your message out to more people, faster. Plus, you can get some intern to do it, so it’s free!”

What you do: Snarl menacingly while moving hand toward the .44 Magnum in your AceCase SpeedRack^® shoulder holster. Ask vendor if he/she feels lucky.

--Possible Answer B:
“To proactively address your brand reputation in realtime by leveraging your human assets and image channels to maximize your bandwidth in the social space.”

What you do: Use your Level 33 Necromancer to cast Spell of Eternal Immobility, drink a mana potion, then immediately cast Searing Flames of Hell.

--Possible Answer C: “To build relationships.”

What you do:  Hire the vendor. Call caterer, order fatted calf feast. Secretly review plans for world domination.

--WTP

(Thanks to Ian Drurie at Conversation Marketing for the idea. He really knows how to write a snarky-but-humorous blog post.)

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--Bill Paarlberg is editor of  The Measurement Standard blog and newsletter, and of Katie Paine's new book Measure What Matters. The Measurement Standard is a publication of KDPaine & Partners, a company that delivers custom research to measure brand image, public relationships, and engagement.

Correlation vs. Causality Humor: Randall Munroe

Randall Munroe's blog xkcd is very thoughtful, and his cartoons are very funny. And this one is especially related to measurement. (Statistics and humor overlap so rarely. Sigh.)

Thanks to Katie Paine and Not Running A Hospital for the tip. --WTP

Granola Bar Measurement: How Much More Is a 200% Increase?

Is measurement going mainstream? Has anyone else noticed that justifying oneself with facts and figures is becoming more and more common lately? You can hardly read an article nowadays without a intro paragraph of justification stats. In fact, recent figures show that 87% of all magazine articles begin with— (ha ha.)

But seriously. To the right is an intriguingly measurement-challenged ad image from Paul Smith at BitterWallet blog: If an increase of 100% would be one more bar, then an increase of 200% would be two more bars. So that would make a total of three bars, right?

A whole 'nother box of granola is the concept of “deliciousness.” Hard to believe that deliciousness (whatever it is) could be a linear -- or even monotonic -- function of quantity.  See the comments at BitterWallet for more. --WTP

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--Bill Paarlberg is editor of  The Measurement Standard blog and newsletter, and of Katie Paine's new book Measure What Matters. The Measurement Standard is a publication of KDPaine & Partners, a company that delivers custom research to measure brand image, public relationships, and engagement.

Notecard Sentiments in Humorous Chart Form from Quiplip

Quiplip has some humorous charts expressing typical note card sentiments in untypical ways. For instance:

 

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DigiDave: How Journalists See Each Other

We could not resist reprinting DigiDave’s humorous photographic infographic on How Journalists See Each Other:

The Seven Deadly Sins of Your County (A Clever Interactive Chart)

First go read Holly Ross’ interesting post, “Four Ways Nonprofits Can Increase Their Impact with Data” over at Nonprofit Technology Network. There, as an example, you will find the County Sin Rankings, which is a clever and informative chart generator that compares counties within states on health stats. Here's the chart for Coos County, NH, home of KDPaine & Partners (the publisher of this newsletter):

And here is a video from creator Forum One Communications that explains it:

 

--WTP

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Data Cake: “...and eat it, too!”

This is thanks to Chart Porn, where you will find “An addictive collection of beautiful charts, graphs, maps, and interactive data visualization toys -- on topics from around the world.”:

10 PR Measurement Fortune Cookies Based on the Wisdom of Confucius

Measurement and social media advice fortune cookies have been all the rage over on Beth Kanter’s Google+ page,  and on her blog. Here are some samples:

Don’t measure just what you can – measure what you can act on. --Beth Kanter

The fool confuses a single success with perfection. The wise person sees it as merely the doorway to weeks of A/B testing. -- Rob Cottingham

Do not confuse motion with progress. -- Nonprofit Curmudgeon by way of Deborah Elizabeth Finn. (Also Alfred A. Montapert)

Although the modern fortune cookie was invented only a century ago, and in San Francisco, we tend to associate the messages inside with ancient Oriental wisdom. So, with apologies to Confucius, here are ten measurement fortune cookie messages based on his alleged sayings:

On Data:

1. Data has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.

 2. Study your data, if you would define the future.

3. Communication without actionable data is labor lost.

On Learning:

4. Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in learning each time we fail.

5. Ignorance is a program without measurement, a program without data or insight.

On Knowledge:

6. I am not one who was born in the possession of knowledge; I am one who is fond of data, and earnest in seeking it there.

7. To learn from your data, and report both its good and bad news, this is knowledge.

8. The accountable communicator may make small mistakes, but will be entrusted with large programs.

On Change:

 9. They must often change who would always have communications success.

10. One who communicates based on measurement may be compared to the north polar star, which keeps its place although surrounded by infinite complexity.

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--Bill Paarlberg is editor of  The Measurement Standard blog and newsletter, and of Katie Paine's new book Measure What Matters. The Measurement Standard is a publication of KDPaine & Partners, a company that delivers custom research to measure brand image, public relationships, and engagement.

 

Humorous Measurement: Top-12 Declining Actors of 2011

In yesterday’s Grantland is a brilliant application of pseudo-measurement by Lane Brown: “Which Actors Tarnished Their Oscars the Most in 2011?” The critical metric involves the calculation of an Oscar-winning actor’s recent reputation decline using Tomato-Meter scores:

To determine the numerical amount by which an actor tarnished his or her Academy Award in 2011 (T_{O (2011)}), I calculated the average Rotten Tomatoes score of all of their post-Oscar movies — since (and including) the one that won them their award — through the end of 2010, and then the average of their post-Oscar movies through this past weekend... The difference between those values gives us their T_{O (2011)}, which, for completely obvious reasons, we'll measure in units called "cubas."

The article continues with a top-12 list of actors in decline. For example, tied for #10 is Nicholas Cage. If, like myself, you have been puzzled and frustrated by Mr. Cage’s recent artistic decisions, you may appreciate this documentation of his deterioration:

10. Nicolas Cage (tie)
Oscar: Best Actor, Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
2011 movies: Season of the Witch (7%), Drive Angry (45%)
Post-Oscar, pre-2011 Tomatometer avg.: 52.7%
Current post-Oscar Tomatometer avg.: 50.9%
T_{O (2011)}: 1.8 cubas

Read the entire article here.  --WTP

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--Bill Paarlberg is editor of  The Measurement Standard blog and newsletter, and of Katie Paine's new book Measure What Matters. The Measurement Standard is a publication of KDPaine & Partners, a company that delivers custom research to measure brand image, public relationships, and engagement.

AVEs Receive $10 Billion in Media Coverage, ROI of 54,321%

For Immediate Release: The Advertising Value Equivalency (AVE) Promotion Council has announced that recent coverage of its Advertising Value Equivalency public relations measurement technique amounts to over $10 billion in media value. This figure takes into account recent voluminous condemnatory coverage in conferences, social media, and mainstream media.

The $10 billion figure was determined by adding up what it would cost to sponsor major denunciation at both the 2010 Barcelona and 2011 Lisbon Summits on Measurement, to buy several hundred inches of castigation in blog posts by prominent public relations experts, and to purchase 15 1/2" of advertising space adjacent to Carl Bialik’s Wall Street Journal column “Publicists Pump Up Value of Buzz; Don't Believe the Hype.”

This sum was then multiplied by 7.4, a generally accepted advertising-to-PR conversion factor. Based on this total, the Promotional Council calculates a 54,321% ROI on its recent program costs.

For more information on AVEs, contact any of the major measurement firms now offering them to their clients, including Kantar, Ketchum, Hill & Knowlton, MediaMonitors, VMS, BurrellesLuce, and Cision. --WTP

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--Bill Paarlberg is editor of  The Measurement Standard blog and newsletter, and of Katie Paine's new book Measure What Matters. The Measurement Standard is a publication of KDPaine & Partners, a company that delivers custom research to measure brand image, public relationships, and engagement.

The Measurement Standard Contents for June 2011

Here is a list of links to articles and posts in The Measurement Standard for the month of June, 2011:

 Humorous Flowcharts

 The All-Purpose Answer to PR Measurement Questions: Measure Business Impact -- Part 2, Social Media

 Public Relations Measurement Is More Important than Public Relations Outputs

 Your Web Metrics: Super Lame vs. Super Awesome

 How Content Turns Prospects Into Customers: The Content Grid v2 Infographic

 Best Times to Email: Infographic

 The Measurement Standard Summer Reading List

 AVEs Receive $10 Billion in Media Coverage, ROI of 54,321%

 Daphne Gray-Grant’s Rapid Writing
The Tyra Banks Approach to Writing: 3 Reasons to Work from Models

 Brian Chappell on Choosing Social Media Monitoring Tools

 Tim Marklein on the AMEC Summit: Rethinking ROI for Public Relations

 Beth Kanter: 7 Tips on How to Make Measurement Fun

 Jorge Portugal is Measurement Maven of the Month

 Why Social Media Measurement Standards Are a Good Thing: NYC vs. Orlando

 Oh, Really?: Angry Comments Cause Negative Perceptions of Corporations

 2011 Lisbon Conference Early Returns: Slides, Summaries, and Voting Results

 3 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t (And 3 Reasons Why You Should) Measure PR: Sean Williams

 Facebook Fraud Flameout: Zuckerberg: 1, Ceglia: 0

 PR Measurement Industry Shows Double Digit Growth

 Lisbon Preview: What to Expect at the 3rd Annual European Summit on Measurement

 The State of Standards: 7 Organizations Shaping the Future of Social Media Measurement

 Erin Hawkins and Leah Cook are the Measurement Mavens of the Month

 IPR Case Study: Starbucks and Edelman Win Big Apple 2011 Best Use of Research Award

 Proof that Social Media Is Irrelevant For Purchase Decisions?

 A Red Card for FIFA: Can Its Reputation Be Saved?

 Calculate Your Social Media Potemkin Score

 

Calculate Your Social Media Potemkin Score

Go read Ron Shelvin’s very funny “Announcing A New Social Media Influence Measurement Tool.” Then tell us again how impressive your Klout score is.

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